Stop Treating your Employees Like Your Kids
Picture this. The bright and eager young star of your team is ready to give her first solo presentation to the management. As she makes her way to the boardroom and looks up at you, eyes wide with anticipation, you tell her, “Good Luck! Try not to be yourself today”. WHAT!?? Oops! Did you actually say what you were thinking OUT LOUD? If the earth would have parted and swallowed you whole at this point, you would have actually written a thank you note.
I admit that the above scenario is a tad exaggerated. Of course you are not silly enough to voice such things. Some thoughts are reserved for that sick little head of yours and access is restricted (thank god!). Point is we actively treat our employees the same way we treat our kids without giving ourselves the credit for it. If you do a quick self-check and find yourself using the same tone of voice with your employees as your children, if you don’t let them finish their sentences, or if you don’t think they are ‘grown up’ enough to have certain information, then you deserve a stand up ovation for your management skills (not really).
Word of advice; stop treating your employees like your children. Yes, you may be a family that sticks up for one another but some families are better off Fatherless or Motherless. If you want to be adored as a manager, be remembered as a coach, and be respected as a leader, then you need to be mindful of a few things when playing with your team:
1) Watch your tone!
You may get away with it at home but in the workplace, snubbing your reports or talking to them as if they just graduated from kindergarten is not going to cut it. And that includes addressing them with patronizing nick names or titles. If you respect your team, which you should because they show up every day to work not because of you but DESPITE you, you need to give that respect visibly. Speak to them with humility and care and they will be yours forever or at least until they get a better offer.
2) Give them a task and then get out of the way!
It’s quite irritating to give someone a job and then keep coming in the way of them doing it. If you micro manage them to the extent that they feel they have to tell you how many cups of coffee they had in each break, you must know that the only person you are helping is your competitor who will soon be joined by your ‘trusted’ employee. Assign tasks with the right level of complexity depending on the depth of experience the employee has and then let them be. Accept that it is their right to get the space to learn and make mistakes. Resist the urge to answer emails that are addressed to them, or take decisions without involving them. Stop adding your two cents during their presentation and taking away the spotlight in your innocent zeal to ‘help’. Let them take charge of the situation until you see them gasping for air and take that as cue to offer help.
3) Tell them stuff!
Remember there is something you have in common with your team and that is the need to feel special. When your team is the last to know of things that impact them directly, they begin to doubt your credibility as their leader. The easiest way to turn off your team is to be ultra-secretive about information. Dare yourself to trust them and share important information with them. They will only act like a team when you are willing to work in partnership with them and partners must communicate openly and frequently. Keeping them in the dark will only lead them to embarrassment in dealing with others in the organization and that is something they will never forgive you for.
It is important to remind yourself repeatedly that your role as a team leader is not to parent them but to challenge their potential in the hope to develop them into self-reliant, resourceful professionals. What that means is that there will be times when you would have to swallow the I-Told-You-So’s, hold your tongue between your teeth to keep yourself from interrupting them and even take responsibility for their failures.
